Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my anxious thoughts, and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.When You said, "Seek My face," my heart said to you, "Your face, O Lord, I shall seek."
Summerdale
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Name: Aestas


Interests: Revolutionary Love
Expertise: Overthinking
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Sunday, August 31, 2008

A Rushing, Changing Wind

Have you noticed how life is different than what you expected? I don't know what I actually expected when I think about it, but life is different, somehow, than I ever dreamed. And I still wonder if it would be something totally changed if I were somewhere else. I'm realizing things about myself that I didn't know and wouldn't have considered possible. And I wonder how much of me is molded by environment. I can see God in my life though I have a hard time feeling Him. This life, I've come to realize, is a rushing, changing wind and as I stand, silently pushed by its forceful and unyielding strength I wait...
until the current shifts and a breeze caresses my face and dances through my hair.


Wednesday, March 19, 2008

South

I need to get away...


Monday, January 28, 2008

Memorize

Oh, to have a golden tongue

with golden lips where words are hung

upon them spun with jewels and crests

around, entwined with silver zests 

Words spilling forth all wild and winsome

Full of grace and snowy wisdom 

To touch an ear, to cause a change

To teach a heart to rearrange

Oh, it's longed for in the deep of my soul

to have the lips and tongue that roll

off  speech that causes men to stir

souls to breathe and hearts to cure. 

 

What should I name this poem?

I've been challenged lately to memorize God's Word more. I know a lot, but I can never know enough. I want to have God's Word in my heart and mind and mouth. I want to cause change, and be changed.


Thursday, January 10, 2008

Two Fututres

Many times before I have found myself in a place where I have no idea what to do.
So many many times I have wished for bright neon lights or some direction written in the clouds.

For one of the first times in my life I know what I should do.
Yet...
I am having a hard time doing it.

In my left hand I hold fame and in my right I hold obedience.
One sparkles with imminent glory while the other looks pale and porous.
That which I had wanted for so long is what is intended for me.
But a new discovery of talent makes my previous hopes less alluring.

I know what is required of me... but I don't know how to complete the task.
I fear where I should hope.
I hope where I should fear.

Every day I have to choose. Every day I am reminded of a promise.
And every day I doubt, for just a minute or two that the promise is real.

I wish for superficial, and I even know it.
My heart reminds me of my purpose.
I play with the idea of punishing my hopes.

Day and night my promise dances on my eyelashes, yet it painfully teases me as I am forced to learn patience.
Patience.
Patience.

Others dance with my promise and it pokes tiny holes in my heart.

It is so hard to wait on the Lord.
But I will do it.


Saturday, December 22, 2007

Recently

I have a car!

I have been commissioned to do artwork!

I've been booked to shoot a wedding this summer!

Christmas is in a few days!

Thank you Jesus for so many good things.
And thank you for the not so good things that draw even closer to you.



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